Friday, 22 November 2013

BLOG 2.0!

Shmungo to you!  

My last blog did great and thank you to all those who regularly read it.  Unfortunately I became too busy/lazy to continue it.  So here is a re-brand and refresh of my time in the blogosphere.  You can be assured that the same worthless bargain bin of drivvel will be included.  I cant say how often these posts will appear, but the more you read, the more I want to write.

So lets have a catch-up.  How's things?  Yes that rash has gone thank you.  Well lets cut to the chase and go through some of the things that have happened to me since I last blogged...

  • I left London and came back to Bournemouth to finish my degree
  • Said degree was finished, I now have a BA in Marketing
  • I now work in the Insurance industry
  • I got put in a trance by Derren Brown
  • I'm still living with my girlfriend and a new cat.
  • I got the oven fixed last week.
What else do you need to know?  Pretty pleased I have a degree now.  One is enough for me I think, not like those circles, they have far too many.  Now if you've ever injected vinegar into your veins then you'll understand why I've called this blog Shmungo.  If you've never done that then I suggest that you do because I'm not going to explain it you.  I call it the 'Sarsons Stab'.

I will look to continue posting my blog videos occasionally as I did before.  I'll pick up some silk and cotton later so I have some new material to work from.  

My girlfriend and I also have a new plant, we named it Debbie, though I'm sure it is definately male.  I'm thinking of killing Debbie one day, just to see if plants have emotions, i.e pain, anxiety etc.  I caught Debbie singing the Peruvian national anthem the other night, could she/he be a spy for them?  The only way to find out would be to interrogate her/him, but somehow I don't think waterboarding works on plants.  Perhaps i'll slip some vodka into the plant food to see if that loosens her leaves.  I'll keep you posted.

My sister has announced she has a baby cooking away inside her.  I hope it's a baby at least, if she gives birth to a skiing catalogue then I will be very dissapointed, I can't ski.  People sometimes ask if I will have kids and get married to my girlfriend anytime soon.  Honest answer?  Not again.  I still have my last wife and 5  kids running my butterfly sanctuary in Cornwall.  I met my last wife whilst on an archeological dig for toothpicks in the former Yugoslavia (back when that was a cool country to know about in a pub quiz).  Her name was Lola, she was an entertainer or something like that.  Like a fly on the end of your nose, we hit it off and she came back to the UK with me.  Decades on and we now have 5 kids.  But I got bored of their faces so sent them away.  What more can I possibly tell you?

Anyways I need to wrap this up or I'll have nothing left for next time.  ;)

This blog was written under the following conditions:

Last song heard:  Ellie Goulding - 'Burn'
Last meal eaten:  Sweet Chilli Noodles
Thinking:  Anybody want to work for me this weekend?

No comments:

Post a Comment